"I *Prefer* Not to Work with Men"
- May 25
- 11 min read
Transcript and shownotes from the 4th episode of the new podcast, "Clitoral Conflables," from The Agentic Feminine
April 22, 2026
TAFYTCC Ep. 4 Transcript
Meredith (00:03)
I don't want to work with men. Now, I don't know why I feel the need to address why I don't want to work with men, but I do. First of all, okay, I do think, I do think that widespread progress must include men, but that's the responsibility of other men, NOT women.
Secondly, there is a debate in circles that talk about matriarchy, about whether these constructs of society should be led by women or if they should simply be in partnership with men. And I have a lot to say when it comes to this topic, but I'll get into it in more detail in the not too distant future.
For now, I'm going to say that I do think organizations in which men and women are working together to end patriarchy and seek a more balanced, mutually beneficial societal structure are doing important work which I endorse. For me specifically, however, that is not the path.
In my opinion, women need male-free spaces to exist, explore, grow, heal, function, thrive, and do the deep work of creating change. Not necessarily EXCLUSIVELY free from men, but it does need to be an option.
In a patriarchy, almost every space and infrastructure was built by men or male-centered patriarchal women and comes with unnecessary yet built-in obstacles. We need a much wider array, a much more available variety of spaces that are women-only and women-centered.
Now, I understand that Trump is on the tear to deny us these empowering liberties, but they were under threat even before he started his second term. Gender equity laws and the court system are being used by predatory men across the country to close down women-only spaces. Nevertheless, we should persist.
In a sociopolitical system of hierarchy, which yeah, patriarchy is, in order to access resources and gain equity, groups that are marginalized, oppressed, and targeted should have every availability to protect themselves and that includes gathering in spaces where those belonging to predatory demographic groups are not permitted, where they don't get to go. This is not rocket science and they are being systematically attacked because gathering in such spaces, in such groups is so productive.
Y’all, Just recently, a woman in Pasadena, California, who is not Black sued the Pasadena Public Health Department after being denied access to California's Black Infant Health Program, an initiative which was, according to Pasadena Now quote, established by the California legislature to reduce Black infant mortality rates and address health disparities among Black women, infants and children, end quote.
Black women face very specific prejudice, not just socioeconomically, but especially in accessing healthcare and ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY maternal healthcare. To be clear, unlike any other demographic, they face challenges specific to their particular intersection of race and gender as a result of purposeful, pervasive and targeted harm and abuse from anti-black sentiment across a broad spectrum of service providers. 2024 numbers out of the CDC report significantly higher numbers of maternal mortality for Black women than white non-Hispanic, Hispanic, and Asian non-Hispanic women.
An organization set up to address and solve this very particular problem should be protected and well-funded, certainly not weakened in purpose, scope, or focus.
So white women, let's be clear, this shit is unacceptable. We must be part of the solution and not once again and again and again and again again ad nauseum part of the problem. And for damn sure, not allow ourselves to be manipulated into being weaponized against other women, Black people, Indigenous people, and other marginalized populations. We can and must be better than that.
It's part of the broader nationwide backlash and attack on organizations and groups set up to specifically address inequity. Reshma Saujani founder of Girls Who Code and Moms First, just said that she has seen corporations and companies cancel women-centered events on a scale she has never. seen before. Y'all, they are caving to Trump's anti-DEI policies and crawling right up his ass and making themselves comfortable. It's un-fucking acceptable. This mass epidemic of cowardice and bowing to the corrupt authoritarian sends a clear signal that we need to set up our own institutions. We need to set up our own spaces.
That the lip service of so many of these companies and service providers that have enjoyed profits from our wallets we're handing out was utter and complete bullshit.
And the reality is that we're not seeing pushback in this area by men. They are not being the providers and protectors of women in any capacity, shape or form in this moment with the most acute attack on women's bodies and liberties in recent history. Where are all the men, huh?
Well, let me continue, the vast majority of women have suffered some form of harm or trauma at the hands of a man. A tremendously significant number of women have suffered this harm or trauma from someone with whom they've had a more intimate or familial relationship, whether it be their dad or their romantic partner, what have you. In a white supremacist patriarchy, men are conditioned as boys to marginalize and trivialize women and see them through the prism of their own wants and needs.
Boys and men are taught to center themselves and their worldview and operate with unproductive certitude. Women are consumable and disposable.
You know, mean, life is too short to deal with this shit. We do not have time, I do not have time, to sort through and find the precious few diamonds in the rough if we wanna have the strength and fortitude to answer the call of history and humanity in crisis, Women should have the space, liberty, and availability to do the work that they need to do free from having to negotiate interaction and relationship with men. This shouldn't even be a discussion. I shouldn't have to say this.
More and more countries globally are adding women-only train and subway cars in order to deal with persistent predatory sexual harassment and assault. In an effort to reduce sexual assaults, Uber and Lyft have both instituted a woman driver option for women customers. And guess what? Now face assaults from (SHOCKING!) men claiming discrimination of men.
Meredith (06:58)
Hey, I wanted to jump in here because yeah, I messed up that last sentence. I meant to say Uber and Lyft face LAWSUITS, not assaults, LAWSUITS from men claiming discrimination. One more time, lawsuits. It's hard to talk with these braces, you what I mean? So thank you for your patience and now I'd like to talk to you about your car insurance. Kidding, back to the show.
Meredith (07:20)
Where men are, women are not safe. And where women seek to avoid men to protect themselves, predatory men once again practice their entitlement to women as though we are subhuman commodities. It's pathetic and repulsive. We must attempt to strengthen our rights to women-only spaces in the US and grow them in numbers. They are empowering and productive, which is why men want to narcissistically squash them. And they wonder why we're rejecting them in growing numbers all the freaking time. Once again,
I haven't witnessed men speaking up for women-only spaces or pushing back against the predatory jackasses who attacked them. It's almost always women. But you knew that. Similarly, white women must stand in support of Black-only spaces and Indigenous-only liberties.
Any infringement or encroachment is simply an effort to sabotage socio-political and socio-economic gains by these groups and ramp up oppression and exploitation. It's disgusting and reprehensible and we must put a stop to it. I will say it again because it's so important. For any group marginalized in a hierarchical society, it is of vital importance that they meet and strategize with each other to be able to identify needs, areas of weakness, as well as solutions and more.
As we see the Trump regime attack these liberties and entitlements, it is representative of their knowledge that they know these types of gatherings are powerful and that for tyranny to advance, these types of spaces must be crushed. So we have no choice but to stand up, continue our efforts and resist their oppression.
Groups of women who have done the work to decondition from white supremacist patriarchal rule and are in a position to spread and share their wisdom will be the indispensable, necessary seeds of changing the future. But we have to get together.
Okay, moving on.
Another reason I am women-only is that I have spent decades analyzing sociopolitics, gathering information about what creates a successful society and what are the strategies to employ to create such a society and what are the obstacles.
A lot of media airwaves have been spent pondering the question of why people vote against their own interests, whether it's Republican voters who are not white or wealthy or yes, women, and more specifically white women.
The question of why white women vote Republican is a very particular interest to me because I know a shit ton of white Republican women.
Also, it is my principle belief that the problem of white women in the US voting Republican every fucking election is the responsibility of other white women to solve. There is no other group charged with this task and there is no other group capable of accomplishing the goal of creating movement among white women away from capitalist, white supremacist patriarchy of which they are the linchpin, the keystone, a foundational pillar and without us the system could not exist.
This is a fundamental duty specifically right now. In no other moment in recent history has a situation been so dire as we are seeing a massive rollback and attack on the liberties and rights of women, but most especially Black women. We white women have an obligation to stand up with our privilege, with our power, with whatever we have to not just fight back but create institutional change that uplifts every single one of us.
The John Roberts Supreme Court, which I have said and will say over and over is a corrupt and illegitimate institution carrying out irreparable political destruction and tyranny, have been stacked by white supremacist right-wing extremists with a deep-seated hatred for women hell-bent on destroying democracy and freedom in the US, just attacked Black electoral power when they decimated Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act. The decision was catastrophic to any semblance of fair and proportional representation. To say it was an abomination is an understatement. And this is on white women. While a lot of great strides have been made over decades, clearly it hasn't been enough And this is on us white women.
While a lot of great strides have been made over decades, clearly it hasn't been enough and it is on us to go the rest of the distance and directly address this prevailing persistent problem.
One of the major reasons that the betrayal of women is so consistent and persistent is that white women, with the rare exception, do not know how to build deep-rooted, reciprocal community with other women that is not male-centered, or is not existentially subordinate to capitalist, white supremacist patriarchy. We need to be proactively addressing and rectifying that on a broad scale, all hands on deck.
This will be the tenet of my work. And let me just say, I don't have a prayer of being effective in this endeavor if I dilute my purpose to include men. If I dilute my work and my job to include educating men or like trying to decide if the men have it figured out. Full stop.
Lastly, I will be working with women because I love them. I love women. That might not seem like a groundbreaking statement, but I was raised marinating in internalized misogyny. It wasn't overt, but it was very pervasive. And as someone who is very assertive and strong-willed and has a strong personality, a lot of my friends, especially in college and like the few years after, tended to be men.
In truth, I'm a recovering pick me and it's fucking embarrassing. But as I've grown and done a lot of healing work, I've discovered that I love women and I love them so much. And it's not just because they're a wife and I'm a wife and society dictates that we socialize with each other in an effort to alleviate the emotional burdens and resentment of having to perform unpaid labor. So everyone around thrives while we drown the pain of our dying souls in pills and alcohol, intermittent fasting, online shopping or unhealthy workout regimen.
Yeah, sorry that slipped out.
Also, fuck that. I ain't nobody's wife anymore and never will be again.
And while every now and then I think I might possibly perhaps consider overseeing a team of men, maybe like some sweaty men working diligently and earnestly to empower women. know, stranger things have happened.
But I love being around women. I love their openness, their generosity, their sense of humor, their commitment, their willingness to be supportive and helpful and understanding that they are actually THE true protectors and providers. I love reading their opinions and discussing topics of import and interest with them. I love commiserating and joshing with them. I love sharing with them. Women are dynamic and creative, flexible and smart as hell. They can conquer most any task and then celebrate each other with soul-affirming generosity.
We are formidable, with goddess fire, fierce when we need to be and ready and adaptable for whatever comes our way. We are unstoppable when we unite and when we come together and say enough is enough, it's time for change. Hell, it's been time. It's our turn to carry the baton, our sole obligation to the future and those that follow the paths we will trailblaze.
We women are simply the best and we are who I want to spend my time with.
I'll see y'all next time.
Meredith (14:50)
Just kidding! I will not see you next time. I will see you right now. Actually, I won't see you at all because this is a voiceover. But before we leave, I wanted to talk about something that happened right after I recorded this episode.
News emerged that this jackass dermatologist with a very slappable face, trust me, you don't need to look it up in Colorado has joined with right-wing extremist and anti-DEI organization called "Do No Harm" (Notice how they always have to co-opt the language of the left to con people into supporting these types of organizations) to sue the "Find a Black Doctor" directory claiming discrimination.
Find a Black Doctor is an organization that helps Black people find Black doctors. I wonder why they would want to.
Now from what I can tell, this is not the first lawsuit Do No Harm has filed against the Black Doctor directory. And what's really insidious and disgusting is that the complaint cites the Civil Rights Act as the foundation for its lawsuit. Again, this is tyrannical, narcissistic white supremacy and part of a broader pattern purposefully and directly attacking Black existence and Black advancement.
There are oceans – OCEANS – of metadata reporting that Black people are met with implicit racism and bias when trying to access health care in the U.S., creating massive inequality of health disparities with other demographic groups. And this doesn't even go into the challenges Black people face when trying to access a quality education in the medical profession. This lawsuit is vile and violent.
Proving we live in a white male-dominated hierarchy malevolently attacking any who try to thrive given the marginalization and oppression they face every day. This is unacceptable, white people. It's inappropriate and pathetic. We can and must do better.
Shownotes:
Meredith explains why she prefers not to work with men (though she would comply with legal dictates requiring multi-gendered representation in a place of business or civic organization). Members of marginalized populations in a power hierarchy must have spaces in which to gather, organize, strategize, share resources, and more. The elimination of these spaces, whether it is of those that empower Black populations, or others, are malevolent acts of violence, purposefully targeting specific groups. White people, WHITE WOMEN, have a duty to use their privilege and their tools to build a society in which all people can thrive. This includes opposing efforts by right-wing extremist organizations to eliminate spaces empowering under-resourced communities. Also, this isn’t rocket science and the fact that these spaces are under attack IS ABSURD.
🔗 Links:
📰 “White woman denied acceptance into Black infant health program is suing for racial discrimination”
